worldsworstfather:

me after being shot by a sniper: hit or miss…i guess they never miss; h uh,

person who hired the hitman to snipe me: *voice crackling over the two-way radio* shoot him again

snarthurt:

ill be sappy whenever i want. i dont give a shit. i love you. fuck off

toesucker:

knifeofvenus:

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

racing-faster:

partlypeachy:

meghaljanardan:

thankful for mangos  

i, a filipino,

wizardshark:

gunbirbs:

i know all the words to fergalicious but not the original

this post made my blood freeze in my veins

pwestongawbey:

oh no! i dropped my ores! *bends over seductively to pick up ore* *bends over seductively to pick up ore* *bends over seductively to pick up ore* *bends over seductively to pick up ore* *bends over seductively to pick up ore*  *bends ov